I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
