It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
