It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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