Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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