I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
