i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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