The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
