I can't breathe out the right side of my face
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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