Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
