So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
