Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
