Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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