She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize