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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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