She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
