guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
