Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
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I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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