Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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