C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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