He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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