How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
