Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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