i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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