perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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