I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
