summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
