Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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