I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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