Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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