A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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