your room smells of hookers.
And success
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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