Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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