i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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