4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
