It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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