thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
