he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
