And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
