before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
