belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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