I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is Oprah even human
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize