..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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