THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
do nipples grow back?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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