She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
