She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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