He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
