any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
