just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize