My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
