Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
