Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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