no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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