He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize