Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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