I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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