I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
