last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
