so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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